Self doubt is real....and ugly.... and it HAS to STOP!

I have to admit this is a pretty big topic for me. My husband can for sure attest to this one...

I used to go on binges of needing things. (Okay, sometimes I still do it) That double stroller... need it, order it up...okay wait, nope that wont do.. because now I just looked up a mom blogger I follow and her life looks oh so easy with her single stroller with a boogie board and baby in ergo.... OH MY GOODNESS! Must RETURN double stroller ASAP, and buy that single NOW its perfect!

The struggle is real friends...the struggle is REAL.

Not only is it real, its also fake. That Mom blog I follow, and that super cute photo she posted? Guess what? That picture took about 25 minutes to take after begging her children to smile and look at the damn camera...after she also had to change the baby because he spit up all over her.... and that super cute ergo carrier? That got covered in spit up too...and so by the time she changed herself, and the baby....AND the ergo....she was about in tears, but just HAD to snap that cute photo to show the word.... "it's okay. I GOT THIS"

I know this because, well, let's face it. I'm a mom of FIVE kids, 8 and under. And I can for sure tell you that more than half of my photos show the glamour parts of my life. Its not all glamour. It's NOT all easy...and we must all STOP comparing ourselves to other mom's, other relationships, other careers..other peoples lives that we think we want because we see how great they have it, based on their social media pages...but really, it all has to stop.

Self doubt is real. Its ugly...and it lives inside of us all. We all have it and yet we still compare ourselves. We have to stop doing that. Everyone has happy times, and struggles and we all are just trying to do the best we can! I am no super mom, I am just a mom that has made the choice to try my hardest to be the best Mom and person that I can be. And that's it!

Soon after I posted my first blog post, you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to delete it. I wanted to delete it so bad and then I told myself no way! I want this! This is for ME! I am proud to tell my story. The happy times, sad times, scary times...laugh out loud until my belly hurts times...all the times that make ME!

Im proud of the woman I have become. I have fought hard to become her though. It's easy to assume other people have it easier... but happiness lives inside of us all. We have to wake up and CHOOSE to be happy.

No stroller, no house, no outfit... (although these things will fill us with a little happiness for a litte while) none of that will make us happy forever. Happiness is an inside job, wake up today and choose to be happy. Notice the little things. When your kids ask you to put the phone down and play... PUT THE PHONE down and play! And when you feel a little voice inside your head of self doubt, rise above. You've got this! Be YOU!

With all my love,
Cassi

P.s. I turned 31 yesterday. THIRTY ONE! Say whaaaat??!

Intro into our fun, busy, loud, loving life.... as a party of SEVEN!

Hi! When I first starting thinking of writing a blog... many many years ago, I had ONE baby! And I thought to myself... what will I write? How will I write it all down and not be nervous about what people think... will anyone even read it?! 

Fast forward 8 1/2 more years, and here I am... WISHING I had started that very day, 8.5 years ago. 

My name is Cassi, I live in a small town in New Hampshire... in a fixer upper house, that my husband converted from a 2 family into a one family home for our growing family.. He is my High School sweetheart, and the moment I met him... I knew I had to keep him forever (and make lots of babies....HA!)

We have FIVE children.... Carter is our oldest and will be 9 in April, Callie is 7, Cullen is 4, Caitlyn is 2, and Camden is 6 months! (is that 5... because I did forget to  name one on our Christmas card this year... (that's another blog moment!) 

I'm a stay at home mama, and my husband devotes his days to his trucking business. I feel so lucky and so blessed to be home with them each day.. even on the days where I am not so sure how I can make it another second without a break... (or a shower... in peace... what the heck is that anyways?!) 

I wish so badly that 8.5 years ago I had the courage to write a blog because looking back... all the moments that I have experienced as a mama, that are real and raw...funny..and sometimes sad... those moments I am forgetting as I'm getting older... and I wish SO badly I had wrote them down. 

That all changes today. Today I am starting this blog... where I will capture the life I live, day in and out....(okay I promise I wont blog EVERYDAY....ha!) with no expectations, except to capture my life and have somewhere to process thoughts on raising these 5 tiny humans....with my High School sweetheart... in our home in New Hampshire. 

more coming  later... off to make breakfast for my littles <3 I'll leave you with a few pictures of our family!

<3 Cassi